Monday, May 14, 2018

My Monday

Well this is fun… My step-dad is getting upset that I’m still living with them without a job. I think I might be able to handle a part-time now, but my mom might be going out of town, so I won’t have a way to work, so I don’t know what to do. Her dr. is 4 hours away, so it’s a two day trip when they go.

That said, there are a few places hiring in town, but I’m worried about taking a job, and not being able to handle it. I still need to learn to drive, which no-one is willing to help me with, and if I get a job, I’ll loose food stamps, and have to pay more on my grandma’s rent, since she refuses to move to a 1-bedroom, they still consider me living there, and it’s income based.

I don’t know, I wish I wasn’t bi-polar, and my psychiatrist keeps telling me that I’ll get my meds straightened out, and then I’ll be able to have a ‘normal’ life, but I can never be normal, because I’ll always have to be careful, and look for signs that my meds aren’t doing their job anymore.

My step-dad wants me to move out and live on my own, but there is no way I can afford a car, insurance, my meds, rent, and other necessities on 10-15 hrs, which is what I worked at my last job.

I don’t know, I’m just praying for guidance, and hope things work out soon. Sorry for being so down this week, I’m looking for a breakthrough, that silver-lining, maybe I’ll find it soon.

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